Before you start...

Age 21
5 foot 7 inches tall
And 160 pounds.

Some days I think the weight is from all the stories trapped inside of me, buried beneath the bones, wailing for the words not found.

Look, my brain is a maze of unmapped ideas, getting lost in an infinite loop of sorrows.
So I have never been able to make others laugh for as long as I can remember, but take this, I have always been good at being laughed at.

Laughter I believe is the sunlight through the window only few remember to draw curtains apart for.

And I've a bad memory, which is to say that keeping my toothbrush while traveling without Ma having to tell me to is an achievement.

I believe that love was meant to tear us apart, but food was meant to fix it,
and everything else.
I cracked my heart against the wall and have been revelling in the shards so obviously I eat a lot.
But trust me, nothing's ever tasted like the quiet beginnings of ink.

See, I was raised by my Dad to be the eye of a hurricane so most days I am a burning nebula, weaving words of fire in a language i was taught not to speak.

But my mother once taught me the word hope and I've crystallized it on my tongue ever since.
So on the same days I am also the soft feather of a sparrow finding its way through the wind trying to fly high.


Hello, I am Shanya. And Kimaya. And Mio. And Yuki.
My sister once told me that you only name what you think you own. I've been trying different names ever since, hoping that I'll someday name myself as someone worth keeping.